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This period signifies a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the mainstream. At the time, the idea that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – For Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is interested or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits indicating a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your choice to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane repulsions that immediately shut down any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic display.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {